the other night bryce decided to go back to one pines , didn't go exactly how i expected

the layout of that whole place was really confusing and we had to keep turning around again and again, then we had to drive across the street so we could drive back in.

then we saw it,


how stupid were we to not remember it was right there?

i remember feeling so happy sitting in that little diner, sitting across from her

i remember asking her to meet me there, and i remember when she said no

i've been remembering a lot of things lately, a lot of things that bryce has been blocking out

her town just sort of seems like it only exists in my mind now

like some safe place i go to when i need to feel nostalgic or sad

not just her town, everywhere she took me, everywhere that louis was too stubborn to go to at first, and always made a scene whenever i made us go with her

i can picture bryce looking back on these notes and cringing, but that's growing up i guess, and eventually the thought of her will just become a vague feeling and a distant memoriy from a time that all three of us would like to forget

i miss her, i really do, and i don't know if i will ever not miss he
i just hope that bryce will be able to let her go, in fact i think he has for the most part, it's me that's the problem

it's me that keeps bringing her up, it's me that keeps bringing the other two down

i'd be better off dead but i know bryce and louis don't feel the same, which is good. i don't want to die

i want to be able to find what i had with her again, i want to be able to wake up next to someone, to have someone that i can tell anything, so i don't have to put them up on this stupid website

and hopefully whoever that is doesn't see any of this, it probably looks bad