louis thoughts

1/5/2024 9:29am

y'know, once i get organized you're really in for it

and mark my words, in ten years i'll have this list fucking destroyed, and i'll have a even better list to get through

-adum
-curt -i'm hungy
-new salem
-more music
-happy animals
-smaller youtube things
-blender
-PEEPHOLE
-the zine
-quilting
-over easy
-fmu demos
-paddy mcaloon
-roadkill
-who the hell is nick?
-felix mance
-the fucking novel
-etc.

11/20/2023 8:23pm

WEST MORTON PART OF MORTON COUNTY NORTH DAKOTA
MAJOR CITIES NEW SALEM HEBRON GLEN ULLIN ALMONT
SALEM SUE BINGO CHURCH KELLERITES ULTRA MSG
OLD DAKOTA NEW LOUISIANA

ADUM OLD ADUM IMMORTAL ADUM
PENINSULA NEW PENINSULA EXULTIA
PEZREALM DAUGHTERS OF JEMMA
SPAWN MEDUSIA MEDINIA
NORMANDY OUTPOST ADUSALEM

also curt, but we're not alone for that one

5/17/2023 8:32pm

words, birds, and turds

fuck you, i will not compromise for shitty art, even though all of it is shitty anyway

currently in progress:
-the tallest boy in alton, illinois-in production on and off since last september, is mostly done just need to remake a lot of the graphics, re-record some voice lines i'm not happy with, still need to figure out which direction to take the last scene, am hoping to get it out by july 15th
-orfoe volume one- poems pictures and places to think, types out all of the poetry on a cool remington we just picked up at the flea market, currently trying to finish gathering all the info for the "outside" sections, this was supposed to be a zine but it's becoming increasingly clear that it's probably gonna be too long to be considered a zine. also started doing some cool 4 panel stuff and working on getting all the pictures and sketches together too, starting to look really good
-things-eeesh, haven't even really thought about this in over a year but it's still in the back of my mind, i'm just in a very differnet place than when i started it

hopefully we'll be moving into a new place soon, maybe at the beginning/middle of june
mincie just got out of the hospital, salami is doing well, my buddy from way back just got out of boot camp

THAT'S IT

sabrina and i will be together FOREVER

5/10/2023 11:06pm

SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE I AM AN OCTOPUS FUCK YOU

8/3/2022 4:14pm

hi, bye

9/9/2021 3:03pm

GET FUCKING SHIT DONE YOU FUCKER

8/18/2021 10:36pm

trying desperately to make my lyrics more meaningful, trying to actually make points in the things i write instead of just writing some random bullshit and then trying to figure out what it means later on

i really need more __________________ in my writing, it's something that has been having such an effect on the way i think and act, it just has to be in my writing

every song i write can't just be "wah i'm sad i miss her" it's gotta have some greater purpose

that's why i think "things" is gonna be really great
it'll allow me to really explore these things and break out of this fucking sadboi phase and write about things i really care about apart from my own neuroses

6/3/2021 10:49pm

FUCK THIS
every time i get an ad on something i get so fucking irriatated

it's like

YOU MADE A SYSTEM IN WHICH MONEY IS REQUIRED TO SURVIVE, BUT YOU DON'T GIVE PEOPLE THE MEANS TO GET MONEY WITHOUT SELLING THEIR FUCKING SOULS

AT EVERY TURN THERE'S SOMEONE TRYING TO TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY

HOW CAN I FUCKING LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT ONLY CARES ABOUT THE CONSTANT RISING AND FALLING OF AN IMAGINARY LINE

HUSTLE CULTURE MY FUCKING ASS, HOW ABOUT PROVIDE PEOPLE WITH A BASIC SENSE OF DIGNITY IN THEIR LIVES AND LET THEM PURSUE THE THINGS THEY WANT TO

INSTEAD OF JUST BLAMING THEM FOR THEIR OWN MISFORTUNE
HOW ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SOME FUCKING COMPASSION

IT BURNS ME UP

FUCKING PIGS EVERYWHERE

I'LL FUCKING FRY THEM

what's worse is so many people just accept this
"oh, i have to work 8 hours a day for the next fifty years and then i'll be rewarded with retirement? okay"

as is retirement was even an actual reward, they just can't get any more value out of your body so they throw you into some home with a pension so you can spread their propaganda to the younger generations about how hard work is rewarding, and how if you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps you can be anything you want

fuck you

5/7/2021 8:21pm

everything is irritating
fuck

4/21/2021 11:18am

been getting so frutrated with little things lately
can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of dread that alex keeps trying to push on us

and you've really been neglecting your resposibilities lately too, OUR responsibilities

oh, fuck off
fuck those fucking "resposibilities"
i want to live my fucking life the way i want to live it and that's that, i'm just so fucking done living my life the way others want me to

i'm so fucking sick of money and all the fucking stress that comes with it
and it's all so meaningless, i have absolutely no desire to make a bunch of money because i don't want to feed this horrible broken fucking system we're in

but i don't have a fucking choice, i have to just sell my fucking soul for minimum wage for the rest of my life and i STILL won't be able to live on my own, what a cruel fucking joke

4/2/2021 12:25am

MAKING MOVES

WRITING MORE AND MORE not on here obviously

been doing lots of poetry and i love it, it's so cathartic

and i love breaking all these rules, it's so fun

3/18/2021 1:12pm

BIG BIG IDEAS

BIG BIG THOUGHTS

I WILL CREATE A WHOLE WORLD
IT WILL BE MINE

I WILL LIVE IN THE RED HOUSE

2/16/2021 1:27pm

he knows what today is

i'm not gonna let that bring us down though

been getting really frustrated at little things a lot lately
feels just like old times

can never seem to get a break

a break from all these thoughts, a break from myself

sometimes i wish there were more colors

1/19/2021 6:46pm

i'm in no position to say definitively on what is good bad, although i can comment on what i like and what speaks to me as an artist, and i think paddy mcaloon is one of the greatest songwriters to ever live

and it sucks that more people don't know his work because it's on such a different level, the way he writes lyrics, it's like he speaking directly to me, such pain and history behind each word, he is a true artist

12/9/2020 4:44pm

IT'S ABOUT FINDING WHO YOU ARE AND REJECTING THE EXPECTATIONS PLACED ON YOU BY OTHERS

IT'S ABOUT FINDING GOD AND UNDERSTANDING THAT IT'S A LIE

IT'S ABOUT FINDING THOSE LIES YOU'VE BEEN TOLD YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND SAYING "FUCK YOU"

IT'S ABOUT PURE EXPRESSION

IT'S ABOUT THE ABSTRACT THAT CAN'T SIMPLLY BE PUT INTO WORDS

LOVE AND HATRED AND ANXIETY AND CURIOSTIY

WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU READ THESE WORDS?
EVERYONE WOULD SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT

IT'S ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND ACTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES

THE THINGS YOU SET INTO MOTION
AND NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL OF

and it will be so red and beautiful

11/25/2020 11:41pm

there are things about us even i don't know, but i want to explore those places and find out

i want to breathe in the outside air and bring it back inside with me and blow it around my room

birds III is good, just not quite there yet

11/15/2020 1:17pm

bryce just fucking lost a whole day of work for me
motherfucker can't fucking remember to save things, jesus

what the fuck am i supposed to do now?

it was perfect

for once

FUCK

10/20/2020 4:21pm

10/5/2020 9:38pm

you are not who you think you are

trust me

i was stuck in that eyeball for a looooooong time and i know what it's like

this isn't you

doesn't that make you so mad?

not anymore

yeah, right, and i'm the lying one

figures

my hands are killing me, i can't even type anymore

10/4/2020 11:14am

gonna make this thing so red, gonna make it beautiful

gonna be so weird that everyone hates it except for a few and those will be my friends

i will make this better than the last one, better than the last hundred, and it will make me happy, i hope it will make me happy

i hope it will make me happy

9/25/2020 3:55pm

i wanna make picture frames

and paint them all a deep red

9/23/2020 5:12pm

BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN BORN

I AM BORN OUT THE EARTH AND I WILL MAKE THE MOUNTAINS CRUMBLE UNDER MY FEET

I AM THE VOICE

I AM THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD

I AM GOD

made a new video finally, been trapped in his iris forever now, making art and stuff, making other stuff too

3/28/2020 11:17am

what are we doing if not sitting on our asses making a mockery of all that we've worked for?

all that I'VE worked for

quarantine should have been a blessing for us, and while it isn't exactly a curse (far from it), it hasn't made us as productive as i would have hoped

put out the video for "aren't you alice" it got a pretty small but decent response i guess

you said this wasn't about people liking it, it was about maintaining artistic integrity or something like that

i did

it's just frustrating to spend time on a product that no one would listen to

now you're starting to sound like alex

2/5/2020 9:06am

NEW PLAN NEW PLAN

NO AUDIENCE NO AUDIENCE

AT LEAST TWO EP'S BEFORE SELTZER OR THERE WILL BE NO SUCCESS

CAN'T RELEASE MUSIC TO NO ONE RIGHT? OR DOES THAT GO AGAINST WHAT BRYCE WANTED WHEN HE STARTED THIS?

WHO GIVES A SHIT

__________ IS WHAT MATTERS

MIGHT NOT MATTER TO HIM BUT IT DOES TO ME SO WHEN WE WILL START RECORDING YOU GODDAMN LOSER

MAYBE HE WANTS SOME SORT OF GLORIOUS STARVING ARTIST PERSONA BUT REALISTICALLY WE'LL JUST END UP_____________________ HANDING OUT CD'S ______________ WHEN WE COULD BE PLAYING SHOWS FOR REAL PEOPLE

could have put it better but maybe you're right

of course i am

get to work and stop feeling sorry for yourself

1/28/2020 5:29pm

inhale more why don't you

pathetic isn't it

as if anyone will ever read these

better get a new hobby dipshit and i can't believe you're thinking about her again

8/14/2019 12:51am

fuck fl studio, and fuck my laptop, i can't fucking make what i want to mske because my fucking microphone can't even record without sounding like at at the fucking beach

anyway

i came up with this craigslist idea and i love it
and seltzer is gonna be on the backburner for now i gotta get this going

but gotta put seltzer out first once it's all done

but they"re both gonna be fucking great, if only i had equipment that actually worked

my dream is to ruin the emmy's one day, bring that stupid ceremony to a halt

i gotta stop resting so much, things are fucking frustrating and bryce is holding it down just fucking LET IT OUT GET MAD

GOD DAMN IT

SITTING IN HIS FUCKING ROOM ALL DAY MAKING SHIT

WHAT HAPPENED TO US
HE CAN'T MAKE SHIT

MAKING SAD SHIT FOOR ALEX AND FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF

STILL FUCKING HUNG UP ON THAT GIRL

CAN'T GET OVER HIMSELF
CAN'T GET WITH THE FUCKING TIMES

NEWS FLASH IDIOT IT'S BEEN ___________ AND SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU

just get over it already you self loathing fuck, get off your ass and make something fucking real

7/24/2019 10:26pm

7/3/2019 12:29pm

i wonder if being _____________ is tax-deductible

6/26/2019 1:37pm

would you rather make _____________ or have artistic integrity

6/17/2019 4:45pm

albums are dead. why should i put work into something like that if the majority of people who find it will choose one or two songs that they like. people don't listen to albums they listen to songs. there are no spotify playlists with full albums on them. the only problem is that some songs only work within the context of an album. i don't think i could listen to "us and them" if i wasn't already listening to dark side in its entirety.